J. CHAVAE

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Living Spiritually

Creating for 100 Days: DAY 4

Oh my. Today has been a day full of feelings and I really didn’t want to write at all.

I guess the major thoughts that are coming up for me have to do with how I show up in the world.

I think a major part of me not being on Instagram is because I don’t feel like whatever I post, picture wise, will be a proper representation of me. My surroundings, my clothes, my current situation, they don’t feel like they properly reflect who I am, where I am, or who I am becoming. I think that’s where the “comparison” gets me. I feel as though the people that I follow are themselves. What they post is a reflection of them, its authentic. Their page is them to the fullest.

My spirit keeps telling me to mind my business, and it’s right. I guess human nature is getting the best of me. I don’t want to be like anyone else, I don’t want to have what everyone else has, I just want what I share to be a strong and direct reflection of me.

Fashion, how my hair is done, the things I create, they are all a part of me, but I don’t feel as though these things are available for me to share in confidence.

I don’t know. It’s not easy to explain and the more I think about it, the more frustrated I become and the more I don’t want to post.

In the meantime, I keep praying, meditating, and thinking of ways to come up on out of this funky shift!