On Self-love....The Beginning
The past few months have been such a learning and growing experience. My transition period that started last September is still going on (my astrologer told me that it is a two year transition for me *insert ugly cry emoji*).
The biggest lesson that I have learned is deepening my self love. Being honest, some days it is there and other days I totally neglect the fact that I've learned to love myself so much and I drop the self-love ball and kick it to the curb. Since the beginning of the year I have made it a mission to strengthen that love daily and to make my love of self a permanent fixture in my life. On Instagram I have #lovethyself pictures that I created which serves as a reminder to myself as well as others.
One thing that I had to work on and be firm with is saying "NO." I used to be such a "yes" person growing up. I was so miserable because I was doing everything that others wanted me to do, but I was not honoring myself whatsoever. I was so afraid to say no (it got so extreme that I would let men abuse me & do things to my body despite the fact that I did not want it/I let out a weak "no" & shut up when it was met with opposition). Loving yourself means knowing your boundaries. Honoring your spirit and your space even when others might get upset or offended (which blows my mind). I have learned to say no in so many different ways. I have learned to turn down invitations or opportunities because I needed time for myself. I have learned to occasionally isolate myself in solitude...BECAUSE IT IS NEEDED!!! So many people want so much from me, if I did not say no I would have no energy for myself!
I have also learned to cut people off. Some may call me mean because I remove people from my life with ease, but why would I want to keep toxic people around...just for the sake of them being around? No thanks. Due to spending more time with myself, I have also learned to recognize and listen to Spirit. My discernment is at an all time high and I now make the necessary adjustments when red flags go off. When I was younger I would ignore red flags, give people the benefit of the doubt, and then they would prove my initial intuition right! I don't have time to waste like that anymore. As soon as a person shows me who they really are and what they are made of...*cut cut*. Also, practicing non-attachment makes things a lot easier.
I buy myself little presents or I will take myself out to eat. Some people will get carried away with this, overindulging in the name of self love. I treat myself to little things like flowers, crystals, good/healthy food. They are little happiness boosters!!
Please do not misunderstand my self-love for me thinking that I do not need/want a partner (I refuse to have what people call a "husband". I want a MAN that will work with me not necessarily look down on me or expect me to uphold "wifely" duties). I have been working on making myself a whole person. I want to be complete before partnering up with another complete individual. We should compliment each other and catch each others overflow of self love....not fill in the voids with each others love. I should be able to stand strong and firm without him, but shine brighter with him. I know I need to be filled with my own love before partnering up with any man, no matter how amazing he is!
I saw a post a few weeks ago that said we should stop telling each other to love ones self first because hen that is stating that the do not deserve love....not at all!!! EVERYONE DESERVES LOVE! Self-love makes for an independently COMPLETE person who does not depend on another being to "complete" them or fill the void that they should fill in themselves. The phrases "you complete me" or "you're my better half" literally scares the mess out of me. It is stating (whether consciously or unconsciously) that you, alone, are an incomplete/not good enough being and you are waiting for/expecting someone to come and make you whole....when you have THE absolute power to be whole on your own. Waiting on someone to complete you or make you better gives them control over you and your happiness, when that should never be the case. You are the sole controller of your happiness!!! We all have the same ability to connect to Source and fill ourselves up! You have the ABSOLUTE power to compete yourself. Everything you need is within you, you don't need to depend on an outside source for anything. (PS I understand that not everyone understands this or get this. It is something that you need to practice. One needs to decondition oneself to get out of the brainwashing that you have to look outside yourself. This is something that you need to remind yourself daily.)
I do not want to keep you all too long, but know that the past few weeks have really made me see what it is that I want in life. (I literally had a beautiful experience that left me with the questions "What is life?" "What is stress?" "What is money?" When I tel you that Spirit came through with the most amazing answers and shut ego all the way up!!!!) I cut down my social media interactions significantly and I stayed to myself a lot more. Im not sure if I am going to post as often as I was before, but I know that things will be different. I will be very aware of how much energy I give others. I know that I have to truly honor myself. I know that I have to "fill my own cup" (in the words of Nilsa) before I can fill anyone else's cup. I have to take care and love myself before I go and give that away to someone else; this is not just in regards to romantic relationships either. I have to give to myself and make sure that I am well before I dispense whatever energy that I do have. Learning that has made me feel so much lighter and has my head in a very clear/peaceful space.
#OnSelfLove will be something that I continue with. I have videos in store on my youtube channel and I will post more about my journey here as well as on Instagram! Please stay tuned and look for updates and more in depth insight of my self-love practices!!
I hope you loved yourself today!!!